Welcome to the Ivory Tower, Part I

Congratulations! You've just been promoted or hired into your first management job. Much like Melanie Griffith in "Working Girl," you may think you've finally arrived: after years of working hard to prove yourself, you have that coveted office - with a door! And as you close your door, prop your feet up on the desk (by the way, does anybody actually do that?), you may be thinking that you can finally breathe a sigh of relief, secure in the knowledge that it gets easier from here.

Did you enjoy that moment of bliss? Good, because that's about as long as it'll last. What you think you've learned about life in management (from your view at the bottom of the org chart) is not at all what it is. You have less power than you think; this is especially true if you're a middle manager in a large company. You have more responsibility than you think. Finally, if you're like many managers, you've been tossed into this new fishbowl without a drop of training on the practical skills you'll need to do the job.

On the bright side, you probably don't realize that you don't know as much as you think you do, which means that you aren't scared. The dark cloud around that silver lining is that you might make some catastrophic mistakes because you don't know any better.

Early in my career, I managed a temporary employment agency outside of Newark, New Jersey. Most business people have a negative opinion about people who work as temps; that opinion is often based on the fact that temps seem to be somewhat unreliable. During my almost four years running that agency, we brought our turnover down to minimal levels. When I left there (to move to Tennessee), I had at least a dozen temps on staff who'd been with me exclusively for more than three years. But I made some big mistakes before I figured out what I was doing.

In the years since I left New Jersey, I've managed temporary employees and full-time employees; hourly personnel and salaried personnel; fantastic performers and horrible performers. And every group was equally challenging, each in its own unique way.

In today's entry, I want to introduce you to some of the manager archetypes (according to me). They're exaggerated, to be sure; but that doesn't make them any less real. You'll probably recognize at least one former (or possibly current) boss in this list; with any luck, you won't recognize yourself.

Bridesmaideum ad infinitum

Remember the saying, "Always a bridesmaid, never a bride"? Conventional wisdom has it that, when the perpetual bridesmaid finally takes the plunge, she uses that opportunity to get even with every friend who ever tortured her with a green taffeta nightmare of a bridesmaid's gown. She does this, of course, by outfitting all of them in the most hideous, ruffled, and unflattering bridesmaid's gown she can find.

Sadly, there are some managers who seem to take this same position: they are going to take every horrible act performed on them by every horrible manager, and they're going to pay it forward to the next generation of aspiring managers. Mind you, I'm not suggesting that this is always a conscious act; but I've known plenty of managers who have openly taken the position of, "Bwa-haha! Now I'm the one calling the shots! $#!+ rolls down hill, and for once, there's someone lower on the hill than me!" As corporate traditions go, we could do better.

Fidelis Horribilis

This manager wants to be your very best friend in the whole, wide world. S/he doesn't want to be the devil; s/he doesn't want to tell you what to do. In fact, s/he's perfectly content to keep doing exactly what s/he always did - just with more money and a nicer workspace. S/he goes out for drinks with the gang; s/he goes to ball games with you; s/he's just one of the gang. S/he has no earthly idea what it is that you do, but s/he's okay with that as long as nobody makes any waves.

On the surface, this manager seems like a real catch: you're treated well, you're appreciated, and you're pretty much left to your own devices. But one day, you realize that, while your boss isn't giving you any grief, neither is s/he giving you any real coaching or development opportunities. See, s/he doesn't want to give you any negative feedback, because then you might not want to be best buddies any more.

Fiddleris Moronicus

Remember Nero, fiddling away as Rome burned? He was the earliest known example of the Fiddleris Moronicus in action. This manager knows that things are going to the Seventh Circle in a handbasket, but pretends that everything is just hunky-dory. Problems? There are no problems here! Sure, production has been shut down for seven hours because of a system issue, but it's no big deal. We'll just work through until Midnight tonight, and everything will get done. You'll see!

The worst part of dealing with this type of manager is that it's impossible to have a real conversation about any problems, because s/he won't admit that there are any problems.

Knowledgeum Keeperis

This manager knows everything that there is to know about doing your job (not a bad thing in and of itself). Unfortunately, this manager is also of the belief that knowledge = power = job security, so s/he doesn't share information. You're left to your own devices to figure things out on the fly. You're constantly reminded that you'll never be able to do the job as well as s/he can. And you certainly aren't allowed to make decisions on your own; s/he wants input into everything that goes on, even if s/he's out of the office. Prepare to be micromanaged. Your input is unwanted, unnecessary, and is really nothing but an annoyance.

Semper Tyrannus

This manager has some serious anger issues, and you are going to learn every little thing that will trip that fury line; and you'll learn by experience, of course. Shouting obscenities, slamming doors, publicly chewing people out: none of these are out of character for Semper Tyrannus. Not unlike Knowledgeum Keeperis, Semper Tyrannus believes that you cannot possibly do the job well enough, and s/he will be hypercritical of your every mistake. This manager is extremely unhappy, and wants to share that unhappiness with you.

I don't think that anyone goes into a management role with the conscious desire to make people suffer; poor management is what happens when people move into positions of authority without being given the tools to do the job properly.

In this series of posts, you'll learn about the skills that are the keys to effectiveness in a management role:

• Recruiting
• Managing performance
• Delegating
• Managing up

I'll leave you with one piece of advice that you can start using today: You can't go wrong by using common sense and treating people with common courtesy.